I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This can only be settled by a dance off.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
