before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
