I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
