singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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