so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
