Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize