Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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