Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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