is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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