Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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