just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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