Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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