Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
