How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
