You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize