Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize