i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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