return my video game
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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