alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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