You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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