4 words: hood of his car
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it was like having sex with a tree stump
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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