Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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