also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
