She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
