I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
