do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize