I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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