great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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