i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
