You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize