never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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