her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
