last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
