you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
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My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
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I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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