in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize