I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
