The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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