Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize