Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
