Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want nice things and good sex
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
