shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
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