seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
