Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
