It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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