She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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