he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
