yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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