last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
handjob tips. give me some.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
