O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
