dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
