You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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