So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You're like the curious george of whores
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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