I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
