Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
