hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
