i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Your topless pictures make me question reality
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
