YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
