Sponge bath it is.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
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I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
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I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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