I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize